Apps my substitution for games, Fun?

Fun I think, Well I am a fan of Apps, Android Apps, Apps for Google Chrome, IGoogle, anything that allow me to do things the easy way, and I love experimenting on them, they are like my way of replacing Games. You  see I am an addict, not drugs no way... but for things like books, movies, TV, Dancing and Games too (phone, PC). Being one I don't play games because If I do I get stuck in there and will never come out of it. Then you will see me peeping through the computer screen either in a car or behind a machine gun, probably flying on the back of a bird... You know how it is..

Machines and architecture had always interested me a lot, now it is software and applications, I love them I mean I love to make use of them, to know how they work and to talk about them. The latest joys of my life are finding the exact application I need either on Google or on the Android Market (now Google Play). My friends think that I am insane (well they always thought that hens the name of this blog), but I just cant help talking about them and admiring them when I come across the opportunity. Because it is absolutely fascinating to find the exact tool for automating what you usually do manually.

I wish I could play more games, but unfortunately I have to be satisfied with the brain training type of games on the phone or the tab because I have enough control to come out of it just before I get stuck. So I have made a game out of looking for the best application to do what I need to achieve.

Let my calm be!

I need my Calm
I need it with me
for life
Cant let go
got to have
my calm with me
Dont wanna let go
of my calm....
Let it stay with me
for life!.....

Life with a Tear Drop

Why people do what they do?

What bring out the best of people or worst? this is something I've been pondering all along... It is also somehting that is talked about in social circles, especially when you pick an individual either to praise or to insult.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject.

People as individuals bring out what they are at different times on the way they act towards the others, and the others perspective of what this person is all about will be according to the treatment they have recieved at the hand of that individual. A combination of all these observations will lead to the conclussion of what is best and worst about a person.

So why do people treat others as they do? I would say any individuals prime objective is survival. As much as I hate to admit it I have come to the conclussion that most actions of people have a vested interest in it (Financial, Political or a Social gain). Yet a good person is born when they chose to act in such a way that the path to gain will do no harm to another and a bad person is born when they dont give a thought to the consequences the others will face along the way.

But what if that person have no other choice in the matter and it will hurt some one else? or at least at the moment too occupied to notice that this will hurt another? and would have prevented it happening if knew? will that make him/her a good person or a bad one?

There are lot of sayings floating around saying that trouble in life bring about the best in you, yet it can also make you very selfish, you lern to put yourself before the others. At the same time when you gain financially and have come accross good fortune it can either overwhelm you and make you selfish again or give you the freedom enough to be the best person you are. So where do we draw the line? what do we do when you know that your close friend was driven to do what they had to do and they want to get back in the relationship you had because they do truly care about you? how do you know if they are not pretending to care? they are looking at some gain behind going back to the old relationship, which you do not see? How do you know if you are not doing it yourself? looking at a gain behind the same relationship? Where do we draw the lines between extreame selfishness, humanity & insanity? I wish I knew!

Thought of a shadow taunt me!

A shadow from the past
A Graphical Present
To a Blurred Future

Uncertainty looms all about
Past, present and future
The actions so called
Justified by the mind
That day! Till today!
Yet a thought linger with doubt
Am I right? Are they?
Will I ever do right?
Would they? Could they?


Questions I have
Reasons they giveThoughts come by
Taunt me today

Different Birthday Experiance! (Good? Bad? I have no idea!)

Well saturday was my Birthday! Was it a good one? On the day I thought definetely not the best of Birthdays's I've had. Why?

Let me start the srory at the begining of things, I went to Rajagiriya with my mom to get some work done. Then on my way back she insisted on me getting a packet of lunch from this place, instead of me buying it from near office (my usual spot). Since I didn't like any of the curries they had I ordered a Vegitable Fried Rice. When I was going to have it my friends were like "you should not be eating so much of oil and chilli woman! you have gastrities!", but then I was too lazy to listen to them and buy a new pack. So I ate a bit and threw away the rest.

Next day when I woke up I had blisters on my knees, thought it was an insect bite, but when I started itching and scratching towards the end of the day it turned out to be a nightmare. Where I could not stop the scratiching, and my face swallen to twice the size it normally is. Turns out that I had gotten a food posoning and it lasted for three days until after my birthday, and I spent the best part of my birthday Intching and scratching and getting an injection in the hospital.

My mom made sure she took me to the temple before she took me to the hospital, how ever one wish I wanted to really come true on this Birthday was to have good health. Unfortunatly I was not that lucky. Although it did go down by the time I got home in the night, it lasted till the next day. The medicine had to be continued for two more days afterwards.

I still dont know the full capacity of the side effects both the sickness and the medication had left me, other than the fact that it improved my appitite, darkend my skin and left my feet swelling a bit (not sure if this is because of this or another sickness).

Any how, I am looking for ways and means to console my self, telling my self that:

• There is always a first time for everything (this is the first time I got sick on my Birthday)
• Everything Happens for the best (what ever good that came off this situation, I am yet to find out)
• You should always experiance the worst of situations in order to appreciate the best of them (This is for sure and I'll make sure Ill make the most of the situations when I am in good health and whine about life less)
• Birthday is afterall just another day (-_*)

All in all it was good experiance!

Getting reaqquianted with an old friend

Been going through the entire blog to see if I had mentioned her before, apperantly not. So I have to recount the history of our friendship.
I occationally visit the gangarama temple, and there was a time when I had to go there early in the morning for about two weeks at a streach. During this time I made friends with both Raja and the parrots who come to feed in the morning. I will put up some of the parrots pics later whrn I can dig them up.

Now you better be wondring who Raja is, because that is what I wil tell you next. He was the owner of the second longest pair of tusks in Asia, untill he passed away last year. But when I was visiting the temple in the early hours he was very much alive and active. I saw that most people buy cooking leaves from the person who bring them to the temple kitchen and feed him. So naturaly I had to start feeding him too. Somedays I would take some rasakinda (herbal plant) that used to grow at home. Raja loved them, and would start dancig, literraly dancing when he see the bag. It was fun and gave me so much joy to see his reaction. Also no matter how much you give him food it will never be enough!

It was during one of these visits that I met ganga, she was sort of visiting the temple to partipate in the katina perahara. I fed her a couple of times too. But she had to go back.

After Raja's death they had brought her back to stay permanently. When I visited the temple recently, I saw her but it was only the day before yesterday that I could pey her a proper visit. She is the cutest baby elephant, with adorable behavior! With two mini tusks hidden behind her mouth, only about six feet tall and only eight years old. First day I paid her a short visit and asked the caretaker if it is ok to bring her food. He said it was ok. So the next day I set off with a ripe big watermellon in my bag and my cousine sister by my side to visit her. The moment I went near her I told her that we brought her somefood, her reaction was to start dancing, well at least the closest thing an elephant could do to dancing. When the water mellon finally came out of the bag, (by the time we got there it had found refuge right at the bottom of my backpack) the caretaker cut it in pieces. Feeding her was no trouble, all we had to do was to hold it in front of her and she would grab it with her little trunk. My sister and I took turns feeding her. When all two killos of the watermellon had dissapeard she would still streatch her trunk asking for more! Naturaly being an elephant that was not enough, poor gal. Next time I visit her I'll get her more.

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People and how they think

People sometimes fascinate me, I like to watch them and sometimes I find myself wondering away about them. I mean why they behave the way they do. Often find myself making judgements on people not always with the best of results from it.

Yet they remain fascinating creatures!

So what made me talk about people today?

One of the numerous conversations with mom where we disagree.

Frankly, I never understand what she means and never will (this specific kind of conversation).

The conversation was something about what other people think, about the things you do and say, what they make out of these things. I mean what does it matter what they think. I know and understand if she had asked me what my work colleagues would think, they do matter because I have to work with them and they help me get my work done so I most of the time value their opinions (but not always – I can be a bit stubborn too). Then if she asks me what a person I had never met and will never meet again most probably would have thought. I do not really care what she think, she barely know me and I her. It is none of her business what I do say or think. Even if someday we meet her again, if she thinks wrong of me and do not want to associate me, I would say good riddance.

Sometimes there are people who material things & opinions of the society matter more than the people close to you, I mean they dont mean it, but ultimately that is what they do give your loved ones the second place next to the society who has nothing to do with you. I dont know if I do this myself, (I hope not) I try not to. But when I see it happening it annoyes me and angers me a lot. Especially when my mother does it.

End of the day if you have lead a life where you do no worng to anyone or to yourself, why would you be afraid of what other people expecially people who have sinned more than you, woul think of you? fruit for thought!

Live life! Love Life! Love humanity! Do Good! Feel Good! When in despair take a deep breadth and think It will be alright in the end, If it is not alright then it is not the end yet! (*_-)!

The Post that aint gonna be published!

well I think this is a first, me writing about the oposite sex, well not really a first think I wrote a very brief note about it a while back (2-3 yrs). Also I have not decided if I am going to publish this yet either.

So here goes. Like the guys sing sometimes about girls, even for girls it is the same you need a guy to live with. The thing is the human species are made to live togather, they need the support of the other at least that is what I see in the world. For a lot of reasons phisical and mental.

Make me wonder why am I writing a post as this, I gues because I am seeing a lot of people getting married and having to be a brides maid for the second time is also taking it's toll on me. So here I am typing away what I think about marriage & relationships.

Marriage or a relationship is essential in life for the majority of people in the world. Rest of them join the monanstry at somestage of their life. But when do you know you want to get married, why would you get married, who would you get married to? these are questions I try to figure out answers at times. I mean personal reasons of each individual to come to that decision.

Mine would be .... sorry guys not today ... I am still thinking why I would get married. I guess that will also depend on the guys I am getting married to (to an extent).

But one thing I know for sure, I will never get married because I have to, or because I am getting older and my mother is bugging me to, or because all my friends have gotten married and I am the only one left. I should need to get married to the person I am going to marry. Who that is... I am yet to discover it myself! and a harder task than that I am yet to discover. Me being me I have loads of doughts and fears that will take it's toll on me and the people surrounding me. It effect me and drive away my prospective suitors (Hehehehe).

So the down side of this is that I might never find Mr Right. I have a back up plan if I do not find my soulmate in this life time. A load of plans. But the biggest question is if I will be able to endure it? So here I am waiting and jotting down my thoughts which I might never publish!

Pros n Cons of having worked as a CSE!

was just thinking about this and thought I had to put them in to words!
These are applicable for phone conversations mostly!


Pros


you don't show emotions in the words when talking to people on the phone!
You make life easy for the people who are talking to you, by using the right words, making them feel happy, even if it is your x-boyfriend who you want to hurt!


Cons
your are not sure If you read the right emotion from what you heard!


You give call coaching to the customer service representative of the phone company or the bank when you need to get details about your account
Your hear every single mistake they do on the phone
you sound like the sunshine when you feel gloomy and want your friends to know it!

First in 2012

Well not really the first but, I wanted to start again, coz I missed writing, whining about my life, and everything else too.


Any how, in a brief, since I've been gone, I changed jobs twice, first job change turned out to be the worst job experience I've ever had. Every turn of the head will bring about 1000 different problems, with a boss who was more insecure and undure of himself, and doughting you at every move you make, thinking that you are upto no good even if it is obviously for the best of the company, it was utter touchure. I had to watch my back every second of the day. I learnt how strong I can be, discovered the businenss woman in me and realised that I do not want to work in a place who dought me.


Now I am in a different kind of a delima, still wondering. Although the place is way better than the previous place and I have freedom "comparatively". Yet I have a dought, it is that same dought that kept coming at me before I made the first move. So what should I do? am I in the right place? how would I know?


Like always I am stuck with a load of questions about myself. Who am I? What should I do? and Where will I go?


So I figured to let these questions lie about while I write about it maybe this will help me figure it out. One thing for sure though, I have devieated a lot from the path I set out to begin, and I will never be satisfied until I fall back in that path, Ill keep on being restless about everything I am doing and dought my ability in doing them. Which will inturn end up giving poor results. The last thing I want right now.


Oh no this is a very dipressing post, sorry guys! I dont like having dippressing posts on my blog prefer them to be cheery and funny. Give me some time and I will get back to my old cheery self and find something interesting to tell you guys about.

Glimps from the Past

This is the first instalment of a collection from my schooldays, will post the rest of them in the near future!

Happy New Year!

Another second, another minute, another day in a new week make way for another month, yet here we are just being our selves but holding the calender foranother year, with 362 days of hope, opportunity & happiness left ahead of us. All missery stuck in the old calender. It is your attitude that makes lifea sucess, have a good one this year!

What is Love?

This was my comment on a friends post and thought it came out nice! hehe :D

"Love is friendship, caring enough to want another person happy it is everywhere and there are many forms of it too, love for mother/father, brother/sister, friend orr..... it could be a person you want to share your life with, all your smiles and sorrows, anything and everything important to you or any thing not important. You maynot know it when it is there, you cant touch it, smell it. But you will always feel it, and it will make you happy to feel it too. At least that is what I think love is all about! does it exist in real life? I think so!" What do you think?

A wish for the End!

Think I have one wish

Feel it ought to come true..

Cant take it no more

Why I know not!

This aint true...

Admit it I cannot do

Yet I have a wish

A wish to end it all

A wish to cure the pain

like a bird with no brain

I struggle with the

Wish I have

It give hope in a way

To take it all

To bare the pain

To raise the brain

TO erase the past

To lay the path

Yet.....

The coming true

is an action I do

This I can not do

Call me a cowerd

Yes I am

will not pick up that knife

nor the pistol

jump in the river

walk to the sea

fear prevent me

keep me stuck here

frozen in my seat

wishing...

just wishing

That Death walk to me

as I will not to him....

Because...

it is the wish

of the end for all

A wish for Death

is my Deathwish!

A thought of consequences!

A thought I have
it cannot be said
it cannot be written
it will not be painted
what should I dotear it away and dump it in a bin?
tuck it away deep within?
and not turn that leaf again?

but
nagging me it comes back
pinching me ever so lightly
refuses to be binned or tucked away
the thought is just there telling me
"Idiot, I am never going away, why do you bother?"
I give up and let it be

yet
I can live with it
with consequences

Me and my Creative Dream

I remember being asked what I wanted to do and I answered that someday I wanted to incorporate creativity in everything I do. This was about 6 years back and that time I wanted to sound cool, also this idea was something like window shopping, you know when you see some thing and feel that it would be nice to have. It felt nice if I could do it.


From that to today there were times when doughts arised about my creativity, but I felt it in me all the time. Today creativity is why I earn money. Creativity is what make me happy. Creativity is how I escape through tight spots. I have creativity incorporated in my life in a ways I did not forsee that time. I have not fully realised that dream yet. But I see and feel myself being lead there. Thus I am in a way satisfied with my life today. With all the ups and downs in it. Although I have no idea what is instore for me tomorrow!

Waiting!!!!

It was a very long wait..

A life time to be precise...

I have looked far and wide...

North South East and West

Even in the News...

But not till now have I seen anything...

Yet the wait is not over...

Got to wait just a lil bit longer...

Hope I’ll survive the ordeal...

Title

Well I am in a mood today! Good? Bad? I have no idea. It is a wired mood. I feel good actually as if I am strong enough for anything. This is a step up from what I've been going through lately. What to do when people don't operate on the same wave length as I do.

So here I am writing after a very long time. I've become philosophical lately. I've always been a bit of it. But recently Ive seen how much I can go. It is so annoying. I've got an explanation to everything when, all I want is to crawl into my dismantlement and mope. But no I have to know exactly why this is happening to me and understand it perfectly and tell my self that I have to do the time when I have to do the time. Annoying ha?

Well I should not be talking about all that today, when am actually feeling a lot better and a bit extra nutty. Or may be I should share a few views of mine with you. I think not not today my writing mood has passed. Starting to get sleepy.

Booooo!

Allo Allo

Sorry for disappearing again. I keep apologizing but no action taken. Will attend to it once am done with this post. So where was I?

I was at the bronze awards ceremony. Remember I did the dancing exams? Once that is over they had the awards ceremony. I invited my dear friend hijinx and my mom along to witness me getting a certificate and do a ten word vote of thanks. It was fun to go to the party. I enjoyed the event and the getting ready part to it. Only regret is that didn't get to help out enough with teh decor, because that weekend was a very busy one.

We had this gathering of my colleagues from office. A barbeque, I loved every minuite of it, eventhough I got a bit bored at times, there was no music so we had to sing ourselves. I ended up using a table as a drum/bera/thabla (call what ever you can call it) and realised if ever I am to learn an istrument in the future it is definetely going to be the Thabla. Had a load of pics taken unfortunately cant upload it now. Will do that in the near future.

Then we had the 5 year celibration at office, its been 5 years since they started and I will be completing 5 in september. Happy am I...? Not so sure. I feel it has been tooo looong. Oh yeah the next topic I have to talk about because I call it a shadow of my most scariest nightmare in life. My mom got a false chest pain, i.e we thought it was and I had to rush back from teh celibrations at office. But thank god it was only a muscle pain. She was working hard lately to clear our house of Dengi Mosquitos.

Let me tell you guys about this week in a brand new post. Coz I have a lot to talk about.

Notice how I have misspelt the word 'the' in this post. How annoying I keeep doing this. type the e before the h. why? ...