learn patience!

take a cool sip of air
then let it go with flare
shake the head
and break a leg

let go of all fear
it is your time dear
to be in a spot light
not a tight spot with fright

those nerves are tiring
they only work you up
calm is more rewarding
when the time is up

What a mess am I?

the buzz is over whelming
the flood flows overhead
with a wild cry beyond control
what do I do I do not know
where do I go is yet hidden away
the past is over and gone
future yet to come unknown
the present is too current
filled with uncertainty


thoughts unspoken
worry unbearable
anticipation half frozen
I am lost lost in joy & sorrow
lost among the clouds
floating in stars
diving in misery
what a mess!

Apps my substitution for games, Fun?

Fun I think, Well I am a fan of Apps, Android Apps, Apps for Google Chrome, IGoogle, anything that allow me to do things the easy way, and I love experimenting on them, they are like my way of replacing Games. You  see I am an addict, not drugs no way... but for things like books, movies, TV, Dancing and Games too (phone, PC). Being one I don't play games because If I do I get stuck in there and will never come out of it. Then you will see me peeping through the computer screen either in a car or behind a machine gun, probably flying on the back of a bird... You know how it is..

Machines and architecture had always interested me a lot, now it is software and applications, I love them I mean I love to make use of them, to know how they work and to talk about them. The latest joys of my life are finding the exact application I need either on Google or on the Android Market (now Google Play). My friends think that I am insane (well they always thought that hens the name of this blog), but I just cant help talking about them and admiring them when I come across the opportunity. Because it is absolutely fascinating to find the exact tool for automating what you usually do manually.

I wish I could play more games, but unfortunately I have to be satisfied with the brain training type of games on the phone or the tab because I have enough control to come out of it just before I get stuck. So I have made a game out of looking for the best application to do what I need to achieve.

Angry am I?

No I am not angry with you!

But I am angry with myself,

have been....

Wil continue to be....

Angry that I met you

Angry that I let you

in my life

knowing not friend or foe

you will be

had I a choice?

I believe I did

I always did

even before birth

to chose my parents

and my friends

and to live with

the choises I made...

Did I chose right?

that is the question

I have no answer to.....

That is why you see

me angred at my self

not you.....

It was my choice

I am paying for

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Let my calm be!

I need my Calm
I need it with me
for life
Cant let go
got to have
my calm with me
Dont wanna let go
of my calm....
Let it stay with me
for life!.....

Life with a Tear Drop

Why people do what they do?

What bring out the best of people or worst? this is something I've been pondering all along... It is also somehting that is talked about in social circles, especially when you pick an individual either to praise or to insult.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject.

People as individuals bring out what they are at different times on the way they act towards the others, and the others perspective of what this person is all about will be according to the treatment they have recieved at the hand of that individual. A combination of all these observations will lead to the conclussion of what is best and worst about a person.

So why do people treat others as they do? I would say any individuals prime objective is survival. As much as I hate to admit it I have come to the conclussion that most actions of people have a vested interest in it (Financial, Political or a Social gain). Yet a good person is born when they chose to act in such a way that the path to gain will do no harm to another and a bad person is born when they dont give a thought to the consequences the others will face along the way.

But what if that person have no other choice in the matter and it will hurt some one else? or at least at the moment too occupied to notice that this will hurt another? and would have prevented it happening if knew? will that make him/her a good person or a bad one?

There are lot of sayings floating around saying that trouble in life bring about the best in you, yet it can also make you very selfish, you lern to put yourself before the others. At the same time when you gain financially and have come accross good fortune it can either overwhelm you and make you selfish again or give you the freedom enough to be the best person you are. So where do we draw the line? what do we do when you know that your close friend was driven to do what they had to do and they want to get back in the relationship you had because they do truly care about you? how do you know if they are not pretending to care? they are looking at some gain behind going back to the old relationship, which you do not see? How do you know if you are not doing it yourself? looking at a gain behind the same relationship? Where do we draw the lines between extreame selfishness, humanity & insanity? I wish I knew!

Thought of a shadow taunt me!

A shadow from the past
A Graphical Present
To a Blurred Future

Uncertainty looms all about
Past, present and future
The actions so called
Justified by the mind
That day! Till today!
Yet a thought linger with doubt
Am I right? Are they?
Will I ever do right?
Would they? Could they?


Questions I have
Reasons they giveThoughts come by
Taunt me today

Different Birthday Experiance! (Good? Bad? I have no idea!)

Well saturday was my Birthday! Was it a good one? On the day I thought definetely not the best of Birthdays's I've had. Why?

Let me start the srory at the begining of things, I went to Rajagiriya with my mom to get some work done. Then on my way back she insisted on me getting a packet of lunch from this place, instead of me buying it from near office (my usual spot). Since I didn't like any of the curries they had I ordered a Vegitable Fried Rice. When I was going to have it my friends were like "you should not be eating so much of oil and chilli woman! you have gastrities!", but then I was too lazy to listen to them and buy a new pack. So I ate a bit and threw away the rest.

Next day when I woke up I had blisters on my knees, thought it was an insect bite, but when I started itching and scratching towards the end of the day it turned out to be a nightmare. Where I could not stop the scratiching, and my face swallen to twice the size it normally is. Turns out that I had gotten a food posoning and it lasted for three days until after my birthday, and I spent the best part of my birthday Intching and scratching and getting an injection in the hospital.

My mom made sure she took me to the temple before she took me to the hospital, how ever one wish I wanted to really come true on this Birthday was to have good health. Unfortunatly I was not that lucky. Although it did go down by the time I got home in the night, it lasted till the next day. The medicine had to be continued for two more days afterwards.

I still dont know the full capacity of the side effects both the sickness and the medication had left me, other than the fact that it improved my appitite, darkend my skin and left my feet swelling a bit (not sure if this is because of this or another sickness).

Any how, I am looking for ways and means to console my self, telling my self that:

• There is always a first time for everything (this is the first time I got sick on my Birthday)
• Everything Happens for the best (what ever good that came off this situation, I am yet to find out)
• You should always experiance the worst of situations in order to appreciate the best of them (This is for sure and I'll make sure Ill make the most of the situations when I am in good health and whine about life less)
• Birthday is afterall just another day (-_*)

All in all it was good experiance!

Glimps at the past, Tribute to an Old Friend!

Remember I mentioned about feeding Ganga in Gangarama? As promised I found the pics of the Parrots and Raja, so let this post be a tribute to Raja, who was the 2 Longest Tusker in Asia (or south Asia) while he was alive. His life span was about 46 years, if my memmory serves me right.

Being so old, I Stil considered him to be cute! Let me tell you why!

During the time I would visit the gangarama Temple in the early hours of the day, I and a few more who visited the temple would buy cooking leaves, such as Kankug, Mukunuwanna & somedays I'd bring Rasakinda from home to feed him. The moment Raja see he bundles of leaves he would start dancing, I mean swinging from side to side with and a joyful, almost hopping movement. This look so cute! Then when feeding he'll simply grab the entire bundle in one mouthful, then reach out with the trunk for more. It was a sight to see. I had always called him adorable when he does this. What ever amount of food you give him it is never enough. He'll always want more!

So Here are the pics, with a wish from me for Raja! May you attain Nirvana in another lifetime!

Here are the pics of the Parrots, They give rice to them just before they start the thewawa seromony at 06:30 am. If you visit the temple before they are fed then you will hear them screaming away, "Feed Us! Feed Us!" In their own language.

This is a wonderful sight to see.

Quote from TIN TIN

This caught my eye when watching TIN TIN

"Failed;
There are plenti of others willing to call you a falier
a fool a loser a hopeless souse
Dot you ever say it of yourself
You Send out the wrong signal that is what people will pick up
You care about something you fight for it
You hit a wall, you push through it
You can never let failure defeat you!"

Captain Haddock
The Adventures of TIN TIN

My New Tab Case

This is my Tab Case, before I go creative with it, Now it is a modified tab case!

Random lines 2

Thought I'd write up a few random lines that crossed my mind lately!

When you hurt some one,  you are hurting more!

When things happen in life every thing happen at the sametime, othertimes life is boring!

What comes around goes around! When you say or do something, then you should be prepared to take it back (for another to do the same back at you)!

In any job, task or project hardest part is before the begining, the research! It also take the longest of time too!

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do, it also will either make or break the situation!

Everything in life happens for a reason, if not you'll find a way to reason! That's just how human brain work!

learning to understand a mechine is thousand fold easyer than trying to understand a person!

When you have pressing matters in hand is the time when you find most of the distractions!

If you don't want some one to know something you'll not tell it at all, but if you tell that person that you have some information you will not divulge, it probably means that you want some him to know about it, you are a blaber mouth or you're really stupid!

Sometimes the things that are said to be done in the most grown up manner are the childih ones of all!

Hardest life is the honest and truhfull life, it is also the life that will give you no reason to fear or be uneasy! 

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Getting reaqquianted with an old friend

Been going through the entire blog to see if I had mentioned her before, apperantly not. So I have to recount the history of our friendship.
I occationally visit the gangarama temple, and there was a time when I had to go there early in the morning for about two weeks at a streach. During this time I made friends with both Raja and the parrots who come to feed in the morning. I will put up some of the parrots pics later whrn I can dig them up.

Now you better be wondring who Raja is, because that is what I wil tell you next. He was the owner of the second longest pair of tusks in Asia, untill he passed away last year. But when I was visiting the temple in the early hours he was very much alive and active. I saw that most people buy cooking leaves from the person who bring them to the temple kitchen and feed him. So naturaly I had to start feeding him too. Somedays I would take some rasakinda (herbal plant) that used to grow at home. Raja loved them, and would start dancig, literraly dancing when he see the bag. It was fun and gave me so much joy to see his reaction. Also no matter how much you give him food it will never be enough!

It was during one of these visits that I met ganga, she was sort of visiting the temple to partipate in the katina perahara. I fed her a couple of times too. But she had to go back.

After Raja's death they had brought her back to stay permanently. When I visited the temple recently, I saw her but it was only the day before yesterday that I could pey her a proper visit. She is the cutest baby elephant, with adorable behavior! With two mini tusks hidden behind her mouth, only about six feet tall and only eight years old. First day I paid her a short visit and asked the caretaker if it is ok to bring her food. He said it was ok. So the next day I set off with a ripe big watermellon in my bag and my cousine sister by my side to visit her. The moment I went near her I told her that we brought her somefood, her reaction was to start dancing, well at least the closest thing an elephant could do to dancing. When the water mellon finally came out of the bag, (by the time we got there it had found refuge right at the bottom of my backpack) the caretaker cut it in pieces. Feeding her was no trouble, all we had to do was to hold it in front of her and she would grab it with her little trunk. My sister and I took turns feeding her. When all two killos of the watermellon had dissapeard she would still streatch her trunk asking for more! Naturaly being an elephant that was not enough, poor gal. Next time I visit her I'll get her more.

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People and how they think

People sometimes fascinate me, I like to watch them and sometimes I find myself wondering away about them. I mean why they behave the way they do. Often find myself making judgements on people not always with the best of results from it.

Yet they remain fascinating creatures!

So what made me talk about people today?

One of the numerous conversations with mom where we disagree.

Frankly, I never understand what she means and never will (this specific kind of conversation).

The conversation was something about what other people think, about the things you do and say, what they make out of these things. I mean what does it matter what they think. I know and understand if she had asked me what my work colleagues would think, they do matter because I have to work with them and they help me get my work done so I most of the time value their opinions (but not always – I can be a bit stubborn too). Then if she asks me what a person I had never met and will never meet again most probably would have thought. I do not really care what she think, she barely know me and I her. It is none of her business what I do say or think. Even if someday we meet her again, if she thinks wrong of me and do not want to associate me, I would say good riddance.

Sometimes there are people who material things & opinions of the society matter more than the people close to you, I mean they dont mean it, but ultimately that is what they do give your loved ones the second place next to the society who has nothing to do with you. I dont know if I do this myself, (I hope not) I try not to. But when I see it happening it annoyes me and angers me a lot. Especially when my mother does it.

End of the day if you have lead a life where you do no worng to anyone or to yourself, why would you be afraid of what other people expecially people who have sinned more than you, woul think of you? fruit for thought!

Live life! Love Life! Love humanity! Do Good! Feel Good! When in despair take a deep breadth and think It will be alright in the end, If it is not alright then it is not the end yet! (*_-)!

Beauty of the fall!

I came accross this when I was digging around in my collection of poems from the schooldays. Thought I'd dedicate it to the trip we went on recently to the KKG resort. Where on the last day we visited Makeli Ella. I didn't want to come back from there. But the guys managed to drag me away. A water fall is a place which you can stare at for hours and not know time pass by.

So Here's to Makeli Ella!

Tribute to war Heros

 

When we were in school we had to sometimes write to the solders as a project to encourage them at the war front, and war was a popular topic for poems those days. Here are a couple which I wrote!



A sad story

This one I wrote when in school. We had a lot of monkeys around (not the human kind) and they were a nuisance at times, but this is a thouching story.


We were studing in class and then one girl pointed at something. To see it was this Mother monkey who was sniffing at something. Further observation revealed that it was her kid who had died. She thought it was playing a prank and was hiding away from him to see if he would get up. It was touching and I had to write about it.

More from school days

I got my poems from schooldays scanned in so I wil publish them in batches when I get time to sort them out. Just remember these were written was when I was a kid of 12 to 18 so excuse me if it seem dry/obvious or too stupid. They are too precious not to share anyway.

When I decided to put all these in a collection Here are my dedications to my mother and father

Before that they were scribbled on the edges of notebooks, exam papers (coz there wern't enoutgh to write as answers I had enough time to scribble away after submiting the answer sheet) (*_-)

Here is one like that written after an exam:

Collection of random poems

Life is a bliss

Life is a bliss

when happiness flows
along the path of life
but when in dispair
it turns hollow
and rains all sorrow
 

Farewell Nishu  

Smilling and Laughing on the lawn
Like the sunshine at the Dawn
You were a blooming flower
bringing joy at the lunch hour


With heaps of tales to tell us
Keen ears that always listen to us
Sparkling with a light of your own
We'll miss you when you are gone
 It is not a good bye really
but a see you later honey
making sure you stick by
skype and Facebook to say hi

The Post that aint gonna be published!

well I think this is a first, me writing about the oposite sex, well not really a first think I wrote a very brief note about it a while back (2-3 yrs). Also I have not decided if I am going to publish this yet either.

So here goes. Like the guys sing sometimes about girls, even for girls it is the same you need a guy to live with. The thing is the human species are made to live togather, they need the support of the other at least that is what I see in the world. For a lot of reasons phisical and mental.

Make me wonder why am I writing a post as this, I gues because I am seeing a lot of people getting married and having to be a brides maid for the second time is also taking it's toll on me. So here I am typing away what I think about marriage & relationships.

Marriage or a relationship is essential in life for the majority of people in the world. Rest of them join the monanstry at somestage of their life. But when do you know you want to get married, why would you get married, who would you get married to? these are questions I try to figure out answers at times. I mean personal reasons of each individual to come to that decision.

Mine would be .... sorry guys not today ... I am still thinking why I would get married. I guess that will also depend on the guys I am getting married to (to an extent).

But one thing I know for sure, I will never get married because I have to, or because I am getting older and my mother is bugging me to, or because all my friends have gotten married and I am the only one left. I should need to get married to the person I am going to marry. Who that is... I am yet to discover it myself! and a harder task than that I am yet to discover. Me being me I have loads of doughts and fears that will take it's toll on me and the people surrounding me. It effect me and drive away my prospective suitors (Hehehehe).

So the down side of this is that I might never find Mr Right. I have a back up plan if I do not find my soulmate in this life time. A load of plans. But the biggest question is if I will be able to endure it? So here I am waiting and jotting down my thoughts which I might never publish!

Pros n Cons of having worked as a CSE!

was just thinking about this and thought I had to put them in to words!
These are applicable for phone conversations mostly!


Pros


you don't show emotions in the words when talking to people on the phone!
You make life easy for the people who are talking to you, by using the right words, making them feel happy, even if it is your x-boyfriend who you want to hurt!


Cons
your are not sure If you read the right emotion from what you heard!


You give call coaching to the customer service representative of the phone company or the bank when you need to get details about your account
Your hear every single mistake they do on the phone
you sound like the sunshine when you feel gloomy and want your friends to know it!

Life - is wired
I thought I loved it
but now i hate it
will love it again tomorrow
Why ...........?

First in 2012

Well not really the first but, I wanted to start again, coz I missed writing, whining about my life, and everything else too.


Any how, in a brief, since I've been gone, I changed jobs twice, first job change turned out to be the worst job experience I've ever had. Every turn of the head will bring about 1000 different problems, with a boss who was more insecure and undure of himself, and doughting you at every move you make, thinking that you are upto no good even if it is obviously for the best of the company, it was utter touchure. I had to watch my back every second of the day. I learnt how strong I can be, discovered the businenss woman in me and realised that I do not want to work in a place who dought me.


Now I am in a different kind of a delima, still wondering. Although the place is way better than the previous place and I have freedom "comparatively". Yet I have a dought, it is that same dought that kept coming at me before I made the first move. So what should I do? am I in the right place? how would I know?


Like always I am stuck with a load of questions about myself. Who am I? What should I do? and Where will I go?


So I figured to let these questions lie about while I write about it maybe this will help me figure it out. One thing for sure though, I have devieated a lot from the path I set out to begin, and I will never be satisfied until I fall back in that path, Ill keep on being restless about everything I am doing and dought my ability in doing them. Which will inturn end up giving poor results. The last thing I want right now.


Oh no this is a very dipressing post, sorry guys! I dont like having dippressing posts on my blog prefer them to be cheery and funny. Give me some time and I will get back to my old cheery self and find something interesting to tell you guys about.

Glimps from the Past

This is the first instalment of a collection from my schooldays, will post the rest of them in the near future!

What is it?

What is it? 

How is it? 

Where does it come from? 

How do I know which it is? 

Is this it? 

Is it? 

How would I know?

Who would?

Will I ever know?

When will I know?

Do I want to know?

About it?

Happy New Year!

Another second, another minute, another day in a new week make way for another month, yet here we are just being our selves but holding the calender foranother year, with 362 days of hope, opportunity & happiness left ahead of us. All missery stuck in the old calender. It is your attitude that makes lifea sucess, have a good one this year!

She wants to be happy!

she is sweet

want to play laugh & dance

stay happy forever

everyone think of her

cute and innocent

she like it that way

want to stay away

from the cruel big ones

under shadow of parents

but....

the world will not let her be

it will give her fear

worry to be with her all time

sorrow that burry her in tears

hurt always lingers around...

What can she do?....

Where should she go??

Will she survive

With all the gifts from the world

She did.. does.. and continue to be

she look back...

wonders...

cute and innocent still, is she??

play, laugh and dance can she??

was she happy??

Will she be forever??